The Magic Of Making Up Begins With Understanding

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A predisposition in the human makeup is the need to have relationships with others. It serves many purposes such as reinforcing personal beliefs about one’s self, the ability to see the viewpoints of others, and as a support network. In any relationship, however, there will be conflict. Biologically men and women are different on many levels and one of the most pronounced is in their psychological wiring, or their thinking patterns. A review of The Magic Of Making Up reveals much about this issue.

This especially becomes clear during conflict by evaluating how they resolve differences of opinion. Women, by nature, are the peacemakers of the world. Although females also start arguments, these begin more slowly, but escalate quickly. This is because cortisol levels in women increase during conflict. This is sometimes called a “slow burn”. However, as the issue is resolved, these levels drop quickly leaving them feeling more satisfied at its conclusion.

Men, on the other hand, are more passive when it comes to resolving a conflict. Although they want to resolve issues as much as women do, they are much slower at taking the steps necessary to confront issues head-on in order to bring a satisfactory resolution.

The level of security in female partners, however, does impact the anxiety level of the male counterpart. In relationships where women were secure, men often experienced a lower anxiety level when it came to conflict.

According to studies conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health, age also is a factor in the workings of the thinking patterns used to resolve conflict. When 18 to 21 year olds were studied it was found that conflict often led partners to withhold intimacy. This was a way of showing anger and displeasure prior to actually initiating a fight. The resulted was feelings of abandonment and rejection which exacerbated the problem. Although feelings of security and anxiety were closely related, those levels failed to change during the fight.

Many couples elect to try to resolve issues on their own, however, many look for guidance and support through other means. Perhaps one of the most important elements to remember, however, is that men and women think differently as well as respond in different ways when confronted with a conflict. This could help many couples find methods for resolving issues due to the fact they can understand the thinking patterns of their partner and begin to understand that resolution will come at different rates. One resource is a step-by-step guide called The Magic Of Making Up which offers recommendations for improving relationships over the course of time.

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